The Trajectory of Today’s Topics

• A major book deal without having a book ready?

• Becoming the thing you were supposed to defeat.

• The joy of visiting arts and crafts faires.

• You know steampunk and cyberpunk, but have you heard of gothic punk?

Hot Off The Press

How To Get a Book Deal Before Writing The First Word.

Requirement #1: Be pretty. ❎ Requirement #2: Be at least semi-famous and grow a viral presence on TikTok. ❎ (Guess I’m out of luck.) If you’ve been anywhere near bookish content on social media, you’ve probably heard about Luke Bateman. He’s an attractive Australian man who recently signed a two-book deal with a major publisher without ever writing the first page!

His first video checked all the right boxes. Luke Bateman recently joined TikTok in April, and his very first video went viral, amassing 2.1 million views and over 175k followers. Not bad for a simple video of a man talking about liking books. Apparently, the comments were rather thirsty. One of the more tame comments read, “Do you do weddings… As in the Groom!” It seems being a former rugby athlete and appearing in The Bachelor Australia didn’t hurt.

“You done messed up A. A. Ron!” The real controversy came when he posted a video soon after announcing the book deal. He talks about how excited he is, he gets a little emotional, saying this has been a dream for so long, and here’s the kicker, he says, “I can’t wait to write this book.” (Cue record scratch). 

People were outraged! Several authors made videos juxtaposing their author struggles and frustrations compared to his supreme fortune. I myself have been writing stories since the early 2000s, but didn’t start getting serious about actually publishing books until around 2016. Many of us have been pouring our hearts and souls into our craft for many years to only get buried at the bottom of a massive pile. And of course, there was a lot of vitriol directed at Luke. 

Is the rage against Luke Bateman justified? What are your thoughts? One influencer said, “You stepped on a lot of necks to get this two-book deal. Whether it was your intention or not, it does not matter. I frankly do not think that you deserve a two-book deal.” Soon after the backlash, he posted a response video saying that he wants to use his platform to help other indie, small-time, and marginalized authors. Personally, he seems to be a genuine person who really wants to help others, he just ruffled a lot of feathers. 

How do I feel about it? Aww, thanks for asking! 😂 After the initial shock, I realized I’m not upset at Luke, but I do feel unseen and frustrated. My biggest gripe is with the publishers. They don’t care about quality or content. I’ve read plenty of books by big names that were pure trash, but they made money, and that’s all these corporations care about. They found a rising star with a pretty face and began to capitalize on his meteoric social media success. The anger should be focused on the publishers, not the author, but that’s just my humble opinion.   

The TBR Files

She Woke Up And Chose Violence 

The first seven words of the blurb hooked my nostalgia; before I knew what was happening, I bought this book. What was that magical spell that enchanted me while draining my wallet? “Groundhog Day meets Guardians of the Galaxy.” I would also add “-meets Deadpool,” simply for the language and dark humor. Need I say any more? It’s got you entranced too, I can see it in your waxen eyes! I’ll wait here while you finish shopping. 

Maybe I’m being a little melodramatic. How to Become the Dark Lord AND Die Trying is a sassy fantasy, litRPG book. The main character, Davi, has somehow been stuck in a time loop. She wakes up, naked and cold, in a small pond, where a wizened old sage approaches and tells her she is the Chosen One meant to defeat the Dark Lord. Only she’s been defeated. Every. Single. Time. After hundreds of failures and gruesome deaths, Davi decides this time, she will Become the Dark Lord instead of trying to defeat him. “If you can’t beat them, join them,” she says and decides to try going the way of the Dark Side of the Force. You know, for variety. 

Mistakes were made. At first, this path doesn’t work out very well for her either, as she dies again, and again… and again. Each time she is resurrected in the same chilly pond, and along comes the same sage, but eventually she figures it out. With the help of a rag-tag team of orcs and other non-human characters, she gets farther than she has before. Maybe this was her destiny all along! 

Davi might be too much. I will say the language, the violence, and Davi as a character are not going to be for the squeamish. I mentioned Deadpool earlier, and if you didn’t like the first movie (the second was okay, and the third was awful, yes, I said it, fight me) you won’t like this book. My biggest complaint is how Davi seems to be sexually insatiable, and her internal thirsty dialogue integrates itself throughout the book. Even while she is being tortured to death, she has to make a few sexual quips. 

They could have toned it down a bit. That being said, it’s not a typical “spicy” book; it’s closed door spicy, so you don’t have to sit through all the smut. The sheer number of innuendos had me rolling my eyes more than once, but I was able to ignore most of them and focus on the story, which was a fun fantasy, litRPG romp. (Um, just ignore that unintentional pun.) ☕☕☕☕ How to Become the Dark Lord was funny, dark, and intriguing enough to keep my blood percolating, but Davi was definitely written by a man who thinks women are walking hormones.

…And Then This Happened

Come Out And See Us At The Faire

Well, this hasn’t happened yet, but it will! I love going to local fairs, cons, and other crafty and food centered events. It’s fun to be a customer, peruse the wares, and find amazing things I didn’t know I couldn’t live without. Just this past weekend, the wifey and I visited the Virginia Renaissance Festival. The picture above shows my most recent and currently favorite acquisitions. A FABULOUS, sexy pair of boots that I will be rocking at the Ravenwood Faire in October (more on that later), and a solid steel, Thundercats logo, bottle opener! Feel the magic, feel the roar, Thundercats are loose! Will I be singing this song every time I open a bottle? No. After the third beer? Hell YES I am! 😆🍻

Getting back on track. Anywhoo. It’s fun to see these amazing items and meet new people, but it can be even more fun as a vendor! Going out, pitching my books, selling items, and meeting fellow book lovers and authors is nourishment to my soul. As an introvert, it is exhausting, but I keep putting myself out there because I love finding my people. And you, reading this now, are my people. Thank you.

Maybe I’ll see you around! If you like attending these little shows and supporting local artisans, crafters, and authors like myself, check the following list out and come by if you can. You may not realize how much we all appreciate our customers. So, if you live around or will be visiting the Northern Virginia area, come on out and say hi! Here’s a quick list of upcoming shows we will be attending:

• June 14. Augusta Expo Center Flea Market

• August 16-17. Oakenmist Faire (Not confirmed yet)

• August 23-24. Fairfax Comic Con

• September 13. Paw Paw Festival

• September 20. The Bluemont Fair

• October 17-19, 24-26. Ravenwood Faire (a local renaissance fest)